So, ive always had and anxious attachment in all of my past relationships. I had pretty poor self esteem. id say this was because of my fear of abandonment. However since my last breakup 2 years ago (which ended amicably), I have been absolutely terrified of getting attached to someone and being vulnerable because I know everything has to end at some point. I feel my feelings so intensely. The highs are magical, but the lows... my god, the lows are SOUL CRUSHING. I dont ever want to feel that way again. I do crave connection with someone and I love being in love, but im just too scared to even chance another heartbreak.
im happy to say that ive worked really hard on my self esteem and I now have a great sense of self worth, so im happy being single, but sometimes I reflect and miss having someone loving me back. Though I know that because of how intensely I feel my emotions and I love so hard that I know that its never fully reciprocated to the same degree and that shit hurts a lot.
Has anyone had experience with this?
